Monday, December 3rd, 2007
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2:35 am
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made a new livejournal
jackie7787
if you want to add me, add me. if not, peace out.
current music: Boards of Canada
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Tuesday, November 20th, 2007
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6:24 pm
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hi i still exist and i think maybe ill make a new journal thingy because this one is old. but its also kinda pointless to do that because no one reads this and i never update it anyways. oh well.
here's a brief jackie update:
-in regards to my last post, i got fired from the SAC and now work for United Cerebral Palsy at a group home where I get treated better, paid better, and I'm learning some things about people with certain psychological disabilities. I'm also allowed to sit down which is nice. I'm not very good with being told what to do by mean bosses all the time. That's why I keep getting fired from jobs. I don't like being exploited, and with UCP, I'm not blatantly being exploited, I'm actually needed to help the people that live in the house.
-i got a new car over the summer. the oldsmobile passed the point of no return and i was forced to give oldsy up. I now have a 2002 Hyundai Accent which has been treating me pretty well thus far.
-this is the first semester that i've done REALLY well in school and continued going to all of my classes every day even if I don't have to.
-I finally officially declared psych as my major and now philosophy is my minor.
-Over the summer I went to Florida with Tom and it was the most fun ever! We went to Magic Kingdom for our anniversary because it happened to fall on the Saturday we were there. We went to Epcot with my dad. We saw the Space Shuttle take off at Cape Canaveral with my dad. And we went to Universal/Islands of Adventure with my dad and my stepmom. We also spent lots of time swimming in the heated pool.
-I like Kiki.
-I also like Tom, but sometimes he does things that make me feel kind of suspicious.
-I'm learning how to cook finally.
current mood:  chipper
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Thursday, May 31st, 2007
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9:41 am
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I NEED A JOB! At my current job they only put me on the schedule twice last week and 3 times this week and ZERO times next week! I need moneyyyyy!!! Oh Chrissy I hate you so much.
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Tuesday, May 15th, 2007
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12:04 am
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so i did a really stupid thing on Friday at Melissa's party. I done drank myself into a state of mental retardation. I had a drink that Stef made me which had who knows how many shots of liquor. I also had half a Mikes Apple nastyness which doesn't count anyways. Then I kept having shots with Josh. So after the 5th shot I blacked out. Minus a split second memory I have of holding on to Tom as I walked down stairs, when I finally was conscious again it was 9something AM I was at Tom's house, wearing Melissa's CVS shirt. And I was covered in my own vomit. It was in my hair and on my clothes and it was the most disgusting thing ever.
So i found out that I threw up on the floor in Melissa's house and in the toilet for a few hours with Ray holding me over the toilet and then I got kicked out of Melissa's house so I went outside and fell and vomited and then I was lying in it until Tom picked me up and Josh's mom came to take us to Tom's house and she thought I had alcohol poisoning and wanted to take me to the hospital. It was quite scary and weird to hear that all of that happened and I don't remember any of it at all.
So even though none of you will ever read this thank you Melissa and Ray and Josh and Stef and Tom and maybe Mike for cleaning up my vomit and for not leaving me on the floor to choke on it and die. And especially to Ray for holding me up over the toilet to throw up for a long time I hear. Oh and thank you to Melissa and her mom for not killing me for throwing up all over their floor. Oh and also thank you to Tom and his entire family for not laughing at my pain TOO much.
The moral of the story... Learn your limits and DON'T over-do it. Oh, and having a hang over and throwing up everything you eat and drink for a day sucks.
current mood:  thankful
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Friday, May 11th, 2007
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12:57 pm
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only 1 final left and then it is summuh! yay!
also.. i want a black toyota Yaris but not the weird looking one the normal one. but i wish it was free.
also.. i like pokemon
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Thursday, April 19th, 2007
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12:42 am
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yesterday i went to east west with jezze and tom and i bought the coolest highlighter everrrrr!
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Wednesday, April 4th, 2007
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8:39 pm - random stuffs
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hello! I'm bored and I'm thinking.
My spring break wasn't too exciting. I've just been working every day. Though Monday night I went to the beach which was fun until everyone decided to start sexin and I'm not with Tom so we just walked around and threw rocks at them. And yesterday I went to a bonfire with Jezze, Annabel, Phil and Tom and Annabels amigo. And I ate smores and they were good and I came home smelling REALLY horribly of smoke but I didn't shower cause I was really sleepy. I like to hang out with Jezze and Annabel but they will probably hate me when they find out that me and Tom aren't together and I already know that Phil hates me.
Anyways, my brother finally went through with dropping out of school. Maybe he'll go back again next year... but he's already been left back once and he seems to have no desire to go back at all. He's only 16. He's so depressed.To see my little brother so unhappy all the time is really hard. I want to help him so badly but I really can't. It's been bothering me way too much. I'm just scared for him. Based on what happened a few years ago I'm just scared that something bad is going to happen to him. I just have a really bad feeling is all.
Tom and I broke up as I've mentioned. He said it didn't seem like I wanted to be with him anymore. While that is partially true, there is a part of me that still really really wants to be with him. But I can't stand how guilty I feel about the circumstances of our relationship. How Tom lost his friendship with Dave because of me and how the friends that he didn't lose hate the fact that they can't hang out with him when Dave is there anymore and of course I feel really guilty about how horrible I made Dave feel. And lately I've been feeling so shitty about so many things that me and Tom don't even get along anymore. I just want to be alone.
Today at work one of my co-workers was telling me about how his brother just up and left one day with very little money and just lived all around the world and lived off of little jobs he got and friends that he made. He also told me about how he wants to go to live in another country. I would love to do that, just for a little while. I always stick around here for all the wrong reasons. Yes, I have friends here and I could have a boyfriend if I just could relax but I want to leave. I don't even necessarily want to go to Florida anymore. I want to go to California. All the way across the country, where I don't know anyone. Or maybe Oregon, since the Oregon Trail games are so friggin cool. Or Germany, cause they have cool houses. Or Austrailia, so I can live amoung the Aboriginees if that's even how you spell their name.
Ok, I want to play video games now bye.
current mood:  weird
current music: Mastodon
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Friday, March 30th, 2007
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7:40 pm
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It's spring break!
For my Spring break I'm working every single day except for next Friday and Easter. OH BOY HOW EXCITING!!!!!!!!!!
ok im bored bye
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Saturday, March 10th, 2007
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2:21 am
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last night at the party i stole the ice cream cake and hid it but then i got caught. and the house. josh and jesse told me to. it was fun times lawllzzz
oh and i apparently told everyone that tom hates me and etc.
and to be honest i only really remember bits and pieces of it. and i woke up at 630 cause tom throws up ridiculously loud. so im tired. good night
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Monday, March 5th, 2007
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1:50 am
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I want to move to Florida. Mayhaps I'll look into grad school down there. Or maybe transfer. I have this feeling like I want to get as far away from here as possible. Sometimes I want to just leave and go live somewhere else and start over, all by myself. That and I don't really want to go to grad school anyways.
I wish I had more female friends. I only have like 2 that I talk to now.
current music: Tool
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Saturday, March 3rd, 2007
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3:23 am
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HI!
I got to watch 2 infant boys at the daycare center on campus for my CFS class on Wednesday. They were so cute! One of them kept bringing books over to me and sitting on my lap so I could read to him. It made me think that maybe someday I'll want kids too.
So on Monday, I didn't go to work. But while I wasn't there this older guy that works there just collapsed and died while he was working. He was a really sweet guy too, and I was pretty sad when I found out on Wednesday. It's been bothering me though and I cant figure out why. I didn't know him that well, I keep thinking about this time when he made something for Marie and was talking about how he made it that way for his grandkids. I had this really bad dream the other night where my brother had died and I guess that's why I think what happened to the guy at work is bothering me. That and the fact that something seems to be going wrong with my brother again lately.
Anywho, I wish it was summer. I want it to be summer so I can walk around outside and go to the beach. I want to go to the beach. I don't know why it's not like anything exciting ever happens when I go to the beach considering most of the people I go to the beach with won't go in the water. I like the summer!
Speaking of summer the other job I was hoping to get is going to pay me crap so I don't think I'm gonna take it now. That kinda sucks because I've been fucking around with my current job lately. I've been leaving before things were done, I called out sick for no reason, I didn't go to work on Monday and I never bothered to call out sick, I'm usually at least an hour late for work. Oh well. Marie said she thinks they've given up on me so they don't even care anymore.
I'm bored and that's why I'm writing this.
Today I dropped Tom off at the student health center to get condoms and usually he comes out with a little bag with 20 condoms but today he came out with a BIG bag. It looked kind of ridiculous. SO, it turns out he just walked in and asked how many condoms he could get for 20 dollars and they just filled the bag up with like 80 condoms. DAYUMM!
Okay that's all bye
current mood: okay
current music: the mars volta
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Friday, February 16th, 2007
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4:49 am
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You know what?! When I moved here I was excited for the winter. There could be snow!!! Being cold is easier than being hot because you can just wear lots of layers! And sometimes, it gets so cold that your whole face goes numb!!! OMG SO COOL!
Now that I'm older and smarter, I know that winter on Long Island fucking sucks! First of all, no matter how many fucking layers of clothing I can somehow manage to fit under my jacket, IT'S STILL COLD! Not only that, but it doesn't even fucking snow on Long Island! We get the 20 degree weather with the subzero wind chill and instead of snow we get two inches OF ICE. ICE!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK! YOU CAN'T WALK WHEN THE GROUND IS COVERED IN ICE! AND THE GENIUSES AT STONY BROOK THINK THAT THEY MAKE IT EASIER TO WALK IN THE ICE BY THROWING A COUPLE OF GRAINS OF SALT ON IT! Oh, and I LIKE being able to feel my face!
I WANT IT TO BE SUMMER ALREADY! FUCK WINTER! FUCK IT! I want to be hot and sweaty, and not like the hot and sweaty you get during sex. I WANT TO BE HOT AND SWEATY JUST BY WALKING OUTSIDE!
P.S. me and Tom broke up but we are slowly on our way to getting back together it seems. Hooray!
current mood:  cold
current music: the mars volta
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Wednesday, January 31st, 2007
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2:05 am
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My bird died yesterday. I was really sad the night before he died cause he was making really sad noises. Then he was eating yesterday morning so I figured he was ok. But he died.
It's snowing.
I'm still working at the SAC but I'm currently trying to think of a really fun way to quit that I haven't already done. I want my quitting to be memorable and original. I really want to screw my bosses over.
Night
current music: Tool-Jimmy
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Thursday, January 25th, 2007
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12:31 am
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The weirdest thing happened today. My boss from the SAC called me and asked why I haven't been working. I was like "because you FIRED me". Now she's saying that she had nothing to do with that decision despite Dennis telling me she agreed on it. I don't understand what's going on there. She wants me to come back now. I'm going to talk to her tomorrow. I think the only reason I'd go back is just to find a way to really screw her over.
This is the weirdest job I've ever had. Who fires someone and then asks them to come back 2 days later and denies ever firing them in the first place????
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Wednesday, January 24th, 2007
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4:45 am
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I got fired from my job after almost a year and after working my ass off at that place and for what?? "My availability is not good enough for this semester". Apparently they wanted their part time student managers to work 30 hours a week or more and since I only was going to work about 25 I was let go. And since they did not try to see if I was actually able to work more and that is also the worst reason to fire someone that I've ever heard of, I know that they're full of shit. Now my ex-boss, who is a fucking cunt, is trying to screw me out of all the retro pay I was owed by saying I was being over-paid for a while. This is bullshit.
Oh well. I am looking to work in another place on campus that this girl Cam works out. She worked with me at the SAC and had been trying to get me to go there with her for months. Hopefully that works out. I was also offered another job that won't start until April but it will be at the Student Staffing Resource office and I'll be helping other people that are getting screwed out of money like me and so many of my old co-workers, so I would REALLY like for that job to work out.
My classes seem much better this semester than last semester so hopefully I won't be getting any more Fs. The textbooks for them were pretty cheap too! That was especially spiffy since I have no job now and all.
Oh and I'd probably have to say that things have not gotten significantly better with Tom. It's pretty up and down right now with him but I'm not going to go into detail as to why. Tonight should have been a nice night we were supposed to relax and watch a movie together but instead it just completely sucked. Oh well.
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Sunday, January 7th, 2007
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2:30 am
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If I had a dollar for everytime I actually used this livejournal thingy, I wouldn't have a lot of money.
So here's the deal yo. This is what's gone down in a nutshell (tom can't eat that)
I failed a class this semester and did overall horrible. I'm still pretty pissed about the class I failed so that's all I'm gonna say about that. I am going to do MUCH better next semester. I also have to declare a major next semester sometime since next fall I will be a junior and all.
Work is so incredibly boring this month I can't take it. I've been getting very little hours in cause I keep going home early but time just goes by so slow that I feel like I'm going crazy. Today at work I washed my car though that was cool.
It's 2007. I spent my New Years drunk at Melissa's house with Josh and Tom and that Sam person. It was interesting. Christmas went quite well this year actually I spent Christmas Eve with my family and Christmas day with Tom's. Tom was a very generous gift giver and I am now the proud owner of a semi-working Sega Genesis and a very perdy bracelet! And my little brother got a Wii so all is good in the hood.
Tom and I have been together for 5 months now. I think overall it's going pretty well. I feel like since New Years Eve we haven't been doing quite as well as we were but overall we are still pretty good. I suppose these things happen from time to time. But I think I've changed a lot as a girlfriend since me and Dave broke up or at least I'm trying to because Dave made me realize a lot of things I needed to change. I hope I've changed at least a little. Tom is amazing though. I spend practically all my time with him when I'm not sleeping or at work or in class or out with Chris or Liz and I still want to spend more time with him and I am never bored when we are together, even if we're sitting around with nothing to do. I feel like that's a good thing.
I love my dog. She hates people outside of Tom and my family though. She's like Brandy was except she actually tries to bite people. It's really bad. I wish she was nicer to other people.
Tom has a really cool family. That's a good thing considering I'm at his house more than I'm at my own.
I don't really think I'm moving out anytime soon and I guess that's ok.
I need a new car. My Oldsmobile is a horrible piece of shit that is going to cause an accident because it doesn't work. Maybe before the summer I'll get one so that I can drive to Florida this year.
That's all for today. I need to sleep so that I actually wake up for work. I've been going in late a lot and my boss is starting to get mad I thinks.
current mood:  sleepy
current music: Devin Townsend
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Monday, October 16th, 2006
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3:50 am
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today me and tom went to not one, but TWO corn mazes. One was a Wizard of Oz corn maze and it sucked. And the other was like a Lord of the Rings corm maze and it was fucking amazing! We got lost in it for a good 2 hours. AND WE TOTALLY GOT TO SLAY A HUGE WOODEN PAINTING OF A DRAGON IN THE END. So scary, so scary. The moral of this story... Corn mazes are incredible.
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Sunday, September 10th, 2006
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5:38 am
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Saturday, September 9th, 2006
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11:49 pm
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this is bullshit. im sitting here getting bitched at by all kinds of people and i'm pissed off at my boyfriend. and what does he do minutes after i say i'm not hanging out. he fucking goes to hang out with his ex girlfriend to make her feel better because she's about to break up with her boyfriend. I tell him what's on my mind and he responds to it telling me he has to go pick her up. You know... so he can sit there and talk to me about stuff with her sitting next to him. WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHWAT ASDHFLA;KDJGAIWRPHGAWRL;IGNUI
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Friday, September 1st, 2006
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11:54 pm
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HI EVERYONE!
So yesterday my car died again and it was very scary but then i was able to jump it and I put in a new battery and it has yet to die again or stall or anything. I hate my car a lot. I also received my first bee sting. This is the short version of my story of yesterday because I already told the whole story in a myspace blog and I'm not doing it again. Oh and my mommy helped me pay for the battery which makes me extremely happy cause she doesn't help me pay for anything anymore.
Today I led a sad sad life. I feel so lost and like I have no purpose when I don't have to work, especially when I don't have to work for 3 days in a row. I am so used to working 6 days a week. Today I organized my CD tower. I was just that bored. I listened to various music the whole time though so it was quite nice. Then I started reading the Unabomber Manifesto AKA Industrial Society and its Future. I was looking at the Sleepytime Gorilla Museum CD Of Natural History and it's got all kinds of stuff from it in there. I find it interesting because I am a loser who likes to read about communism and revolution against technology.
Tonight me and Chris went to the mall to look for a jacket for me. Then we went to Target where Chris proceeded to buy a jacket and.... FEETIE PAJAMAS! Yes my friend Chris Re bought feetie pajamas. He is awesome. Then me and Chris played chess in Starbucks for like an hour and a half. So it was a good night.
I also came home to wonderful news that I got into the class I was waitlisted for. SO now I get to take a class with Tom which will be my motivation to actually wake up and go to that class on Monday Wednesday and Fridays, and I am a full time student again so I won't lose my financial aid. I need to find a major.
In other news I miss Tom even though it's only been a day since I last saw him because I am a loser. Yesterday when we hung out we fell asleep and I woke up to go pee and when I came back he was taking up the whole bed cause he's a jerk. But he's the best jerk ever. We've been together for almost a month already which is crazyness cause it doesn't feel that long but that's probably cause I was in Florida for a third of the month. He's amazyy.
I am going to go and paint by number or eat something yummy or read more of Industrial Society and its Future now. KBYE
current mood:  giddy
current music: Sleepytime Gorilla Museum-FC: The Freedom Club
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